MENTAL ILLNESSES & AFRICAN PARENTS

As much as we preach globalization and modernism within the diaspora the concept has yet to assimilate itself within the majority of society, specifically when addressing the mental health of our citizens.

It’s a known fact that majority of people don’t recognize mental disorders as actual illnesses. One of the main reasons is because of our perception of mental illnesses as a sign of weakness. Not to mention the constant comparison of our mental strength to previous generations. The minuscule challenges that we face today are nothing compared to the hardships of our parents and grandparents.

As Kenyans, our backgrounds are rich and cultured by the roots of our ancestors that endured the cruelties of the colonial regime,  humiliation and risked their lives so that we can proudly acclaim this land as our own. Our generation is currently enjoying the sweet fruits of laborious strain from our patriotic predecessors. When looking at the past, it dwarves any hardship that the future could hold. Nothing could ever amount to the sacrifice for what we proudly have today. We are the privileged generation that should learn to suck it up because we’ll never have it as bad as they did. We get to launder in the lavish and luxurious lifestyle that comes with technological advancements and international engagement. We will never understand the struggle of that time.

And you know what? It's true. We will never understand because we are a completely different generation. We will never understand these hardships because we were never there to endure them. We never grew up in the same environment because of their great sacrifices. It’s not even fair to compare our modern day issues to then, they aren’t of the same caliber. But nevertheless, they are still issues that need to be addressed and solved. Just because they are of less magnitude does not mean they are automatically negated. Each generation will have its own set of problems and as human ingenuity continues to progress we will continue to develop our skills to address these issues and offer solutions for them. The backbone of ingenuity is to offer a more comfortable lifestyle for ourselves. Hence the development of various forms of therapy to address mental disorders, yet we choose to remain ignorant.

Don't even get me started on eating disorders and depression. My cousin literally calls them the “Westerner's disease”, a disease only the privileged can afford because they can rely on their parents to coddle their self-destructive behavior. Imagine battling your own psychological demons and having to hear this from someone whose opinion is completely irrelevant? There are so many misconceptions surrounding mental illnesses that could be debunked if we educated the public on the importance of mental health. All of these are (from my personal observation) are common amongst African parents and black-American families. This is why we have so many black youths suffering in silence. Parents and elders are out here disregarding their children's emotional well-being because they believe it's a 'white thing'. We are doing the worst thing imaginable, acting like blind fools. The stigma that surrounded mental disorders when I was growing up, is that it only affected white people. It's stupid I know, however, this was the generalized misconception that I grew up with (and still see today). I view this as a need to distance ourselves from the trifling struggles of white people because the magnitude of their struggle will never be as great as ours. This is absolutely petty. We are all human, meaning we are susceptible to the same ailments, emotionally and physically. It's time we accept this fact because we are literally approaching a period that has the highest levels of anxiety and stress recorded since the early 90's and it's probably only going to get worse, but the blessing is in how we handle our emotional issues rather than suppressing them.

Ignoring the situation is not going to help it go away. It's a matter of acceptance and dialogue. The rift between the youth and paternal figures has greatly widened in the past few years because of this. I have a handful of friends who can attest to the fact that they are not close to their parents at all apart from casual conversations about work and school. Having a healthy relationship that is positive and supportive seems fascinating to them, it's something that they literally cannot fathom. Yet people have the audacity to claim that their children "never want to spend time with me" or are never honest or are secretive. The disconnect is there because there is no assurance that they'll be emotional support from your end. After all, why waste your time with someone who will only acknowledge you when you're at your best? 

That aside, healthcare as well needs to expand in a way that it can accommodate for -not just physical ailments but- mental illnesses as well. There are few clinics that deal with PTSD and independently organized HIV support groups, but the only publicly reckoned hospital that specifically deals with mental disorders is Mathare Hospital. And even then, there will never be assurance that people would want to seek treatment until the stigmatization around mental illnesses ends.

Stay blessed.

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